People who are generally happy make fewer judgments. They can observe something happening without feeling the need to categorise or form an opinion.
Business owners who stay calm under pressure aren’t labelling everything that comes up. They’re not classifying recruitment as challenging, accounts as boring, January as stressful and their website traffic as good or bad. They are simply dealing with whatever is in front of them.
Whenever something crosses your path it’s instinctive to want to compartmentalise it.
Back when we roamed the earth hunting and gathering and avoiding danger, we wanted to quickly ascertain whether something was harmless or a threat. Figuring out whether something was going to attack us or could be eaten was important. Food good; predators bad.
But these days most of us don’t live under constant threat, so it’s unnecessary behaviour.
More often than not, it’s not the actual event that’s a problem, it’s our judgment of it.
Four people are standing in a lift as it travels to the ground floor. No one is talking. Three silently perceive the situation as awkward. One doesn’t judge it at all. Who is happier?
I have a suggestion. Instead of these sentences:
It is good
It is weird
It is worrying
It is scary
What about just… it is.
That thing that happened: it just is. No inferring, no judgment, no meaning or conclusion other than an acknowledgment that it simply exists.
Judgment wastes energy and costs a calm disposition. See if you can suspend your judgment and let it be. It’s not that easy to do but with practice it can become your default. See how much happier your days become.