I wanted to leave

This was the moment I realised I didn’t know who I was.

University. At a student nightclub with my flatmates. Alcopops, glowsticks. A dress that was on sale. Eyeshadow I'd borrowed. Heels I couldn't walk in.

Half my friends wanted to dance in the indie room. The other half wanted to dance in the R&B room.

I wanted to leave.

But I didn’t.

I spent the night going between the R&B room and the indie room.

Not committing to either, not having a good time, just counting down the hours until it was over.

I wanted to be somewhere else. I knew it. And I stayed anyway.

When you don't know who you are, you get pulled in every direction. You go along with other people's plans.

You silence part of you. The part that knows what they want.

The sooner you stop doing what you think you should want, and start doing what you actually want, the more peace you’ll find.

The people you think will mind, actually don't. They don't want you to stay small for them.

They want you to fly.

So fly.